"Well, here we are."
John eased the car into an open parking space about a half-block from Julie's apartment. It was well past dark now, and the streetlamps provided a barely sufficient light by which they could see each other's faces. For a few long seconds, they stared in silence; John could hear his thoughts speaking clearly in his head.
"Do you think about . . . us, much?" Julie broke the silence.
"Of course I do, Julie," he answered sincerely. "You're on my mind quite a bit lately, in fact." He smiled somewhat sadly and looked at her. She knew what he meant.
"We're not going to get to see much of each other from now on," on, let's go." He opened his door and motioned for her to join him.
The cool night air was refreshing on their skin, and John swore he could hear his heart beating as he and Julie walked casually down the sidewalk. Yes, it hurt him to think that he would not see her again for a very long time-- he wished they could just keep walking all night long and never say goodbye. They had been together the entire evening, and had a good time, too. Where had the night gone? He felt like these next few minutes were all that was left, and even they would be gone altogether too soon.
"I'm . . . I'm going to miss you," he stammered. "Heck, I miss you already."
"I know," she placed her hand on the back of his head. It was the short, wavy hair she'd run her fingers through so many times. She wished all the trains in the world would inexplicably break down, leaving her stuck here in Carlston, the town where they'd grown up together. Now they had graduated from college, and Julie's career pulled her elsewhere. It looked as if she might never see him again.
They reached the front door of her apartment building inevitably, and much too quickly. "Would you like to come in for a bit?" she ofered. She was glad to leave the decision up to him.
"No, I'd better not," he answered, repressing his every instinct to draw the evening out and make it last forever. "I don't think you'd ever be able to get me to leave," he quipped, only half joking.
Julie smiled and nodded, not surprised at his declination nor fooled by his joking manner. In the distance, the whistle of a passing freight train blew, and she knew what he was thinking. Suddenly she was thinking it too. This was it. A feeling of being trapped passed over her, a feeling of inevitability. This was it. They were really saying goodbye. They'd grown up together, they'd been best friends forever, and now, for the first time in their lives, they were going to be separated.
"I wish there were something I could do," she sighed. It was a frustrated, wistful sigh.
"It's okay," John answered reassuringly. He put his hand on her shoulder, and a tear formed in his eye. "You've done the best you can, and I'm proud of you. And you know what?" The corners of his mouth involuntarily drooped downward and his nostrils flared slightly a few times as he blinked back tears and asked her the question he knew would make her smile.
"What?" she replied, with tears coming to her own eyes as well. She smiled slightly at the question-- John had said 'you know what?' too many hundreds of times for her to count in the years she'd known him.
"When it comes right down to it," he answered, "I don't mind having to say goodbye as much as if I thought you were better off here. But you are God's child, and I know you are much safer in His hands than you would ever be in mine. I trust Him with you, and I don't trust just anybody concerning people who are so dear to me.
"I'm going to miss you," he continued, knowing he had to get the words out before he started to cry, "but God is with you always. You mean so much to me," John smiled. "I . . . I love you." He touched the tip of her nose gently with his index finger, a gesture which assured Julie he was indeed speaking only to her.
Julie watched a tear roll down John's cheek, and she could see the pain in his eyes. She felt the ache in her heart-- she loved him more dearly than a brother, and would miss him tremendously. She regarded his face in the light from the building, and in a blur they embraced each other.
Each holding the other tightly, John and Julie marvelled at how greatly they had been blessed. "I know," she whispered. She pressed her cheek to his. "And you know what?" she smiled.
"What?" John stopped crying just long enough to look her in the eye and chuckle a bit. Julie rarely asked him that question.
"I love you, too," she winked at him and drew her face close to his. Julie pressed her lips to John's cheek and felt his warmth flow through her. Then putting her head on his shoulder, she thanked God silently and prayed that His Will be done in John's life. Because John deserved the wonderful things God had in store for him.
"Well," John said after a little while, "I should get going." He wiped the tear stains from his cheeks and hugged Julie once again. He slowly let her go and descended one step, turning to see her one last time. "Goodbye, Julie," he said. "And God bless you."
"God bless you, John," she replied. "See you soon." She smiled at him and glanced upward before closing the door. John turned down the stairs, and reaching the bottom, gazed at the stars in the clear heavens above.
He smiled, because he knew what she meant.