(Descartes is standing in a marketplace, pondering existence. All at once, he
brings forth a magnificent theory. "Cogito, ergo sum"; "I think; therefore,
I am." He feels the need to tell the nearest person, who happens to be a
Commoner doing his morning shopping. Descartes speaks to the Commoner.)
Descartes:
I think; therefore, I am!
Commoner:
You are what?
Descartes:
I am!
Commoner:
You are what?
Descartes:
Oh, nothing in particular, I just am.
Commoner:
You are a loony is what you are.
Descartes:
No, no, I mean I just am.
Commoner:
Right, that's what I said you are.
Descartes:
Well, if you think, you are too!
Commoner:
If I think I am what?
Descartes:
No, all you have to do is think.
Commoner:
Listen, are you callin' me a loony what don't think?
Descartes:
No, I'm saying you are!
Commoner:
Say, who do you think you are?
Descartes:
No, the question is DO I think, and therefore I am, and yes.
Commoner:
And now you're tellin' me what questions to ask! Why, I oughta
knock your loony block off!
Descartes:
Wait. First, think.
Commoner:
Think about knockin' your block off? No, I ain't, I'm just
gonna do it!
Descartes:
Exactly my point. Because you do not think, you cannot be, and
therefore I am in no danger.
Commoner:
I'll show you my fist, what is!
(Commoner punches Descartes in the face. Descartes falls to the ground.
Commoner walks away, grumbling about loonies.)
Descartes:
I think I'd better think this over again.
(Descartes ponders a bit, rubs his jaw, and comes to a new conclusion.)
Descartes:
I hurt; therefore, I am!
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