John
2-12-96
A kindly expression he wore on his face,
As one who had fully received God's grace.
The charming young man looked into her soft eyes,
Seeing her pain through her disguise.
He took her by the hand and whispered her name
And thanked the good Lord for her who became
The one he would serve, by God's pure love
Till the very day he would rise to above.
He took her to beaches and they played with the doves
And there she found joy she had only dreamed of.
Unconditionally, fully accepting her past,
He raced to her side, for his commitment would last.
Though others thought him unworthy of her,
He paid them no mind. His plans were higher.
His sudden departure, unexpected and shocking,
Brought her not comfort, but undeserved mocking.
For no one in her world could yet understand
That she, the loneliest princess in the land,
Had experienced the meaning of life on the sand
With one who would love her as Jesus' command.
The Gift
2-12-96
"He is no fool
who gives what he cannot keep
to gain
what he cannot lose."
- Jim Elliot
A gift from God
the Giver is greater
than any gift
But God's time
follows not
our plans
Give Him the gifts
and receive
the Life
The gift from God
which is greater
than any gift
This Old Tree
2-13-96
This tree probably started from a tiny acorn
And it's been growing right here since before I was born!
I've never before in my life seen this tree
And neither has he had the chance to see me.
But I love this old tree, yes I do yes I do
And above this old tree, I love you I love you.
Sitting Alone on a Colonial White Bench
2-13-96
The stranger noticed me from far away
But I guess he didn't have anything to say,
Not even "Hello" or a "How do you do"...
He would rather to study the top of his shoe.
Another girl passed me and as she walked by,
I looked up to try to catch her eye
But she looked at the sky and she looked at the ground
And she kept right on looking to where she was bound.
A third person came, and as he drew near,
I expected he'd have the same stranger-ish fear
But to my surprise, as I watched him come nigh
He gave me a smile and he simply said "Hi."
I sure am glad for that stranger who walked by.
natural childhood
2-13-96
i think it's good for kids to be out in the fresh air
enjoying the warm sunbeams and grass and a tree
and playing in a sandbox and running all around
with innocence and freedom
to watch the birds fly and wonder how they do it
I'm Going To Be Late!
2-13-96
It's time! I must hurry!
I'm going to be late!
O bother, O worry,
I've broken our date.
Please don't be mad at me,
Please understand,
My cranal anatomy
Isn't so grand.
I always forget stuff
And scurry around...
I guess it'd be good if
I wrote these things down.
Till After the Sin
3-21-96
I enter the tiny cave of my mind
Where I fancy no one can follow behind
And it seems I will never let anyone in
Or have to come out and face the light
There is nothing terribly wrong with the night
Till after the sin.
The voices wage war inside my head
As my appetite slowly begins to be fed
And I can usually tell which voice will win
"Please don't, son. I love you."
"Don't allow HIM to snub you!"
They echo in my mind in a terrible din
Till after the sin.
Silence.
Those voices are gone, yet one remains.
One which till now has been put under reins.
"Why did you do that?"
It pricks my heart like a pin.
My own voice, disapproving, has stopped my soul moving
And squashed it flat.
I know where I've been, but don't know who I am
Till after the sin.
Tenderly, mystically, with compassionnate will,
The first voice returns. "Son, I love you still."
Frustration with myself starts settling in,
Yet He says to me, "Shh, I know where you've been.
But I love you so dearly that you must see clearly
Your value within."
To this voice I listen.
And so on it goes, through the days and the years.
We forget that He shed His blood and His tears
Till after the sin.
Birthday Card
4-5-96
I got a birthday card from her in the mail
It used to be so precious
I used to read it every day
And it gave me strength
And it gave me joy
And it sits in a drawer now taking up room
I guess
That's not where love is to be found
Cherry Coke
4-5-96
Cherry Coke is neat-o keen
I hope it does not hurt my spleen
To gulp it down both day and night
All the Cherry Coke in sight
I try to see how fast I chug
And sometimes spill it on the rug
But that's okay cuz I have more
And I can buy it at the store
That super cola which I drink
And never dump into the sink
Because it is so valuable
And keeps my life from getting dull
It will never make you choke
So come on, drink some Cherry Coke.
At a Distance
4-9-96
The fiery sunset burns red-hot in the cool evening
At a distance I behold the wonders of her coming
She beckons and dances, the colors vibrantly tantalizing
My senses
A passionnate joy welling up inside me
Is screaming to run to her,
To hold her in my arms, the fire of love
And she smiles sweetly
Yet I do not know her, I may never know her
For the sunset will fade more quickly than my desire
A wolf, slowly dying,
Which might aid or devour
And thus, at a distance, I behold.
To Say That We've Won
4-28-96
My eyes pulse with blindness for her royal highness
The darkness surrounds me, it's strange not to see
My buddies are whispering about when we should spring
Out from this sweat chamber, and fight like we're free
Gonna tear down the wall
To the rubble they'll fall
Once and for all
My wife appears before me, my kids who adore me
They wonder and worry when's daddy coming home
I don't know what life is, but I know who my wife is
I see her in the silence, and Helen's not her
Why am I in here? When will the stars appear?
I just want to get this battle over and done
But they love their daddies, even if they're enemies
What does it mean, really, to say that we've won?
The captain gives the signal, it's about time to go now
I leap from the trap door, and look for someone to kill
The door breaks down easy, everyone's sleeping
I regard the sweet face of a young child who's ill
What knows he of this war? It strikes me to the core
How much he reminds me of my precious son
But if I leave him alive, I'll never survive
What's it mean, really, to say that we've won?
Devil with a Blue Dress
5-6-96
red hair
fair skin
freckles
horns
At Home
5-9-96
Everyone is rushing, striving, reaching for something
Nothing
At once, annoying, begging and whining
Is
Tumultuous and the thunderous din in the back of my brain
Louder
With every "I'm on the phone!" and "Hold on a second!"-- more stressful
Than
All the hardships of life-- I am forced to reveal
My
True angry self, when I'm part of the
Family
The Impact of My Writings
5-9-96
Three archaeologists in the year 3333
Will discover the remains of our civilization-- my poetry.
It will be found in a capsule, underneath a tree.
Technology and our species will have progressed so far
That only the historians will remember who we are
And no one, NO ONE, will have ever driven a "car".
They'll discover the parchments, all folded and nice
And they'll scratch their crania and look at it twice.
They'll date it and test it and put it on ice,
And squeak in a language which might sound like mice.
But suddenly, the scientists will realize
This is the work of their ancestor, ancient and wise!
Wide they will open all nine of their eyes.
And they will begin to translate, and scrutinize.
"His style reveals the culture of the time!"
"His structured meter and scheme of rhyme!"
"This truly is a paradigm!"
"What?"
"None of this seems to make any sense."
"I'd say this was written a thousand years hence."
"Look here! He said 'whither'-- doesn't he mean 'whence'?"
"What?"
And the creatures will wonder and pontificate.
They'll draw their conclusions and speculate
About what we looked like and how much we ate.
They'll get it all wrong, of course-- there's too much to re-create.
But,
A glorious moment in history
Will occur with the simple discovery
Of all that is left of my poetry.
'Cha, right.
Sometimes Christianity
5-10-96
Death to self
The seed must die
Jesus dead on a cross
And so am I
The dead shall rise
The wages of sin
Accept your death
And let Him in
He holds the keys
I lock the door
And fear my death
Forevermore
Who Am I?
5-10-96
Who is Mike Thelen? He's that guy
who takes all my tests and signs my checks.
I put his name at the end of letters
and he'll be the one when my wife has sex.
People know him and they shake his hand--
they'd never expect him to do the things I do.
He represents me fairly well
but not enough to give anyone a clue.
So which am I? Am I really him?
He eats and sleeps! He breathes and swims!
I simply exist and know myself not.
I can't even find myself. Where am I?
It is he who is writing, but I who compose--
I who am naked, but he who wears clothes.
When I try to speak, he doesn't even listen.
He considers what I say and then follows his whim.
Getting me in trouble, causing me pain--
Boy, let me tell you, it sucks to be him.
Birthday
5-14-96
I am born today
I'm alive, I'm afraid
I have to learn to breathe and see
My mommy's here to comfort me
It's my second birthday
All my family is gay
And there are presents bigger than me!
I'm as happy as can be
Happy birthday to me
My age is this many
I can blow out my candles easily
And my wish will come true, you'll see!
Today I turn eight
And there's icing on my cake!
I'm innocent, young and free
That's what birthdays mean to me
Sixteen candles and a brand-new car
I know I'm bad as you think you are
Life's a game I play to win
I'll soar like an eagle or die tryin'
Twenty-one and finally legal
I don't know about flying like an eagle
But I'm havin' fun tonight, you bet!
And we'll just see how good things get
I don't unwrap presents anymore
It's mostly my kids I buy them for
Every birthday I'm another year older,
Another year wiser, another year colder
My mother is senile, the kids have the flu
Only my wife says, "Happy birthday to you"
Middle age has passed quickly, the time flew by
My birthday reminds me that soon I may die
The man brings a cake and I ask what for
"It's your birthday," he says, "you're 84."
He repeats it again so I can hear
I'm alive, I'm afraid, I'm alone in here
My daughter's family visits me
With the last birthday gift there shall ever be
She kneels and places a lovely bouquet,
But tomorrow the wind will blow it away
Michigan Springtime
5-20-96
The view out my window is gorgeous today
Our white picket fence in the sunshine is bathed
The lawn freshly cut, the month lovely May
The weatherman says there's supposed to be rain
So I close up the window and lean on the pane
A passerby carries her umbrella in vain
My breath fogs the glass as, away in the sky,
A cloud here and there discreetly climbs high
And a boy tells his friend, "Nah, today'll be dry."
I gaze at the trees as their highest leaves rustle
A squirrel perched upon the fence moves not a muscle
The neighbor hurries inside with her hair in a tousle
Ominously, the blue backdrop turns gray
The sunlight retreats, is replaced by dismay
A single clear smeardrop, as I watch, blocks the way
The humid air echoes the clock tower, sounding four
There's a pitter on the pavement, a patter at the door
And the sudden waves of water comprise a downpour
The remaining light zigzags to reach my eyeball
Sirens are screaming a warning to all
Looks like the weather guy made the right call
For once.
And then it stops, quickly as it began.
But I dare not open my window again.
The sun pokes his face in, ashamed that he ran.
"Deal with it," he says. "This is Michigan."
Dear Mrs. Lyons
6-1-96
And if you thought I'd never make it
Always haveing to fake it
Your wrong, and your welcome for this advice:
By it low, and sell at a hi price.
Their out to get you in this world
And stuff like grammers never learned.
And I know you know that, to.
But it matters to who?
So dont get all upset and bent
Im working for the goverment.
Feel the Base
6-1-96
Nothing makes a stereo owner proud
Quite like music played really loud...
They say it soothes the savage beast.
You'd think the guy downstairs at least
Would stop pounding on the ceiling
And surrender to the natural feeling
Of heart palpitations the sub-woofers induce
And dance and frolic, free and loose!
He already tried to evict me once--
He said he had to sleep, the dunce.
Boogie all night and all day!
Boogie, boogie my life away!
Sitting Alone in a Big, Empty, Screwed-up Apartment
6-6-96
After weaving my way through the day
I weave a path to my room through the kitchen
From the bathroom past the sealed door
With a pair of pants stuck to it.
Ahh, finally to relax and enjoy the view
Of the luscious green park out my window!
I solve the maze once more to get some Kool-Aid
As I break from the rat race and settle on the couch.
Sipping, gulping, pondering, listening... silence.
The bare walls ache for decoration
To have their plainness hidden from sight
They long to be beautiful and cared for,
And suddenly it occurs to me:
I'm sitting inside my heart.
Inside on a Friday Night
6-8-96
I exit the car and leave my friends
I don't feel like drinking coffee tonight or any night
I shush the door as I enter my apartment
I put some music on, take a last look outside,
and slowly I
close the
door
Direction
6-8-96
I don't like to say the word "always".
It implies that I can see the future unknown.
It commits me in many large and small ways
To guaranteeing what I do not own.
Neither do I like the word "never,"
For pretty much the same reason.
Relationships are too easy to sever
From time to time and season to season.
I would like simply to live in peace,
Expecting nothing, with nothing expected.
We as humans may never cease
To assume we control which way we go.
As for me, my life is directed,
But in which direction I do not know.
Observation
6-15-96
Climbing to the top of the world,
I take a snapshot of what my journey will entail.
I see the large obstacles, the goal and the people,
And yet obscured is my trail.
Setting out, alone and determined,
I forge a path through the sand and the crowd.
I realize people are watching, observing
My silent trek, though all is loud.
But certainly I intrigue no one so much
As to cause them to watch me beginning to end--
As life passes by and cold turns to dry,
There may be just One who is truly my friend.
Substitution
6-15-96
Did I ever tell you you're very attractive?
(Yes, you remind me of her.)
I'm interested in getting to know you better.
(I hate to be lonely, for sure.)
We should get together for coffee sometime.
(I feel like a dateless old slob.)
Oh no, don't pay. It's my pleasure to treat you.
(As a man, I'm not doing my job.)
Thank you for the evening, I'll give you a hug.
(I miss having someone to hold.)
I really enjoyed our heart-to-heart talk.
(Since she left, my heart is so cold.)
Oh, her? That's my ex. We broke up a month ago.
(See? I'm so honest, up front.)
Nah, I'm over her. She's out of my life.
(Deep down, it's her love I want.)
Our relationship is a wonderful light to my path!
(Thank God, my pain's kept at bay.)
I didn't mean to hurt you. I wasn't thinking.
(I cannot continue this way.)
You know I love you. I just need some space.
(I realize now I'm a fool.)
I don't believe this is going to work out.
(I'm sorry I made you my tool.)
Indirect Rejection
6-17-96
"Go away"
That's all you must say
Don't save me face
Or show me grace
Or try to be nice
Without seeing me twice
Or let me unpack
Without calling me back
Just let me know
That you want to say no
Don't waste my time
It's pointless if I'm
Rejected
This Fish
6-26-96
The sun is saying goodbye over the water;
I plaintively sigh and wander north.
Life is nothing to me at the moment
And studying the sand, I encounter a fish.
Whether drowned in the air
Or dead of old age
Or maybe just sleeping?
I don't know.
But I see youth in his eye and I wonder:
Where is his mommy? Does she miss him?
Did he have a best friend from school?
I wonder if he could have learned to play the piano
Or whether he even knew black from white.
And as my thoughts drift, along comes another
Brother of Fish.
Tossed by the waves, also dead,
He lived a new life and nobody knew.
Silence
6-26-96
Shhh... do you hear the same silence I do?
It's quiet because it's so far away
And slowly, unnoticeably, it becomes all-consuming!
Having crept up behind my back
While I was listening and waiting
I didn't expect it and it quietly shocked me
Into silent anger.
And now, self-perpetuating, it slips into anonymity
With surround-sound performance
Until I see everyone is silent
And no one is listening.
A Friend
7-22-96
A friend will not carry me
But will hold my hand as I walk.
A friend will not interrogate me
But will listen when I need to talk.
A friend will not judge me
But will discuss the choices I make.
A friend will not use me
But will enjoy my company for its own sake.
A friend will not buy me gifts
But will give the gift of his time.
A friend will not flaunt his virtue
But will help me find mine.
A friend will not show me the way
But will show me where he has been.
A friend will not mark my words
But will try to understand what I mean.
A friend will not fear my retreat
But will know that in truth I am here.
A friend will not waltz into my heart
But is willing to risk being near.
Welfare
7-25-96
You say you can't just try and reach them
They have to learn
The lesson you want to teach them
Political pawns, expendable they
For your cause
"Teach a man to fish," you say.
And you. Handouts, handouts, everywhere
Give it away
My child's college fund, you don't care
"We have to give what we've got right now,"
But to care,
To help someone, you know not how.
"There will always be poor people in the land."
"Sell your possesions and give to the poor."
Help?
Agnostic Prayer
8-31-96
Dear God if you exist
You are unknown by me.
Where have you gone? We are all alone
On earth, and we see no heaven.
Reach out, reveal yourself,
Fulfill our unfulfilled needs.
Let us use our freedom of choice
Which they say you have given us.
Let your people know that to err is human
And that is the common ground we share.
The Dictator
8-31-96
Gripping tightly to my wrist
His power over me is evidently clear
His face always rounded in a familiar sneer
I cannot reach him with my fist.
Ordering me to go, causing my frown,
The dictator begins an ominous countdown
Three. Two. One.
When he raises his hand to bring it back down
My eyes grow wide and I race out the door
Pounding, thrusting to escape in time,
Outrun the paradoxical paradigm
Of routine, couched in metaphor.
The constrictions applied to every notch
And nook and cranny of our lives
Are recalled as long as he survives
But all in all, I like my watch.
the friendly sky
9-8-96
a world just like ours
but no one lives here
the entire place aflood with
morning mist and dew-drops
the evidence of our civilization is
submerged far below
this paradise of light and shadow
streaming
swimming amongst the cloudy isles
dancing a far-away rainbow song
what is life
with a world of such beauty
ever above?
Too Busy to Die
9-13-96
I haven't a spare moment
To catch my breath
In the midst of this torment
Comes news of her death
Suddenly my plans cease
To seem so important
The woman deceased
Means more than my homework
With always a smile
All the time in the world
She loved me, meanwhile
My life came unfurled
A solace was her home
From the pressures of life
And godly was she as a mom,
Grandmother, and wife.
She always had time.
To sit. To listen.
And now it's that time
Which I am missing.
I love Grandma Thelen
And now I see why
Our lives might be failing
If we're too busy to die.
My Chosen Path
9-15-96
Life isn't too important,
But it's all we've got.
Don't make anyone's life miserable.
Enjoy life as it was meant to be enjoyed.
Blessed are the peacemakers, so be one.
Know your enemies, and love them.
Be a friend to those in need,
And allow others the chance to do the same.
Most of all,
Do not worry about the future.
Life isn't too important,
But it's all we've got.
Before Visitation
9-15-96
This has to be just another get-together
Converse about the hummingbirds
Don't look at the pictures
Eat plenty of cold cuts
But don't ask "how are you"
Hurry and worry about the clothes you will wear
Pretend to watch TV - transfix yourself so you don't have to think
Or remember
And grieve
Because tears are contagious
And they are welling up just below the surface
Even a runny-nosed sniffle
Will cause a dozen eyes to moisten
Somehow we can't show our pain
So we have to hide it.
Grief is love
And I know there is love in the air.
All These People
9-15-96
All these people loved me
All these people knew me
I never could be certain
Whether Jesus' light shone through me.
Praise God for all these people
May He bless them every one
And I know through all these people
That my spirit will live on.
Here at my own funeral
I feel so out of place
For the center of attention
Has never been my face.
I speak to all these people
But no longer through their ears
I speak of Jesus' love
To every heart who hears.
All these people loved me
All these people knew me
And now I can be certain
That Jesus' light shone through me.
O Death
9-15-96
My grandmother was at the cross
When Jesus died for her
And now it's Satan's loss
For death has been conquered.
We see her body now
Resting in the peace
That Jesus has endowed.
This life is but a lease
From Heaven, so O death,
Where is now thy sting?
With every living breath
In your face we all can sing.
Goodbye, Grandma
9-15-96
I had only begun to realize
How much I loved her -
To see her as a person
And not just a figure.
And now, no more chances.
The time has run out.
Through the fault of no one,
I will see her no more.
Though she has already departed,
I can only say goodbye.
The Game
9-15-96
Maybe if I wait long enough she'll wake up.
She's lying awfully still, and has been for hours.
She's never played this game before.
What are the rules?
This is fun. She's doing really well.
She hasn't moved a muscle yet.
Come on, Grandma! Wake up! You win.
Aren't you going to laugh and play with me?
The game's over. I don't like this anymore.
Come on, Grandma, you must get up.
Grandpa's waiting. Wake up!
Wake up! I love you.
Please!
Florence
9-15-96
Precious angel in my life
My heart, my soul, my lover, my wife.
Through ten children and fifty years
Anger, frustration, jubilation, cheer,
This woman has loved me, for better or for worse.
Her life cannot be reimbursed.
I thank you all for being here,
Supporting me and drying my tears.
I cannot conceive that she is gone forever.
Yet I will cease to love her never.
Perfect Peaceful Ending
9-15-96
She said she felt her work here was done.
She'd raised her children, had her fun.
She'd served the Lord with all her heart.
She was ready for heaven, ready to depart.
And she did.
Grandma
9-15-96
No one takes pictures of the woman in the casket.
It's not really her - if we wait, we can mask it.
This is not the way I want to remember
The woman who made us all fudge each December
So I'll keep my old photos and memories of her
And wait till the casket is closed forever.
I want to go see her, but I can't stay too long -
This image of her seems so very wrong.
No one takes pictures, and life marches on.
We must face the fact that this woman is gone.
More Than a Body
9-25-96
I thought you were fine way back in grade nine
And I wanted to hold you so tight
I imagined your body and mine being naughty
But I knew you would put up a fight.
I didn't even try, I rarely said hi -
I knew you were too cool for me
'Til the biology walk when you asked me to talk
And I saw that my heart was empty.
But now we are grown and out on our own
And I've gotten to know you quite well
Looking back on those times when I wished you were mine,
My blindness shows clear as a bell.
Just like a mirror, I saw myself clearer
In you than ever before.
Slowly I came to see my own shame
And turn from the views I abhor.
You've asked if you're pretty - too fat or too skinny
And I'll answer you honestly
No more mindless chatter, it just doesn't matter -
You're more than a body to me.
Mr. Ugly Head
9-27-96
There's a freak in the window,
He looks so happy!
His eyes are wide open,
Glazed over like Smacky
My taxydermied squirrel,
But so full of life
This freak in the window
Is holding a knife!
Help, let me out of this bus
Right away!
Oh wait, I'll just shut the window.
Okay.
I'm safe now, he's gone
There's nothing to fear
That freak in the window
Is no longer here.
Bedtime Partner
9-27-96
Let me hug you all night long
It feels so right, it can't be wrong
You've been with me for all these years
Heard my secrets, dried my tears
I know that you've seen better days
But I will love you still always
And laying my head upon your fluff
I think of only happy stuff
Although your skin is turning yellow
You'll always be my special pillow.
Sing
9-29-96
(sung to that cool tune on Sesame Street)
Sing, sing a song
Sing it loud, sing it strong.
Singing, it's all we can do
I like singing, don't you?
Sing, sing a song
Keep from thinking, your whole life long!
Make it joyful, not sad.
We don't know you till you're glad.
And if you think that you don't know the words
Or even what they mean,
Don't worry, blind worship is keen!
The Chase
9-29-96
You can only chase someone who's running away
So I only chase the women who run
Yes, I only chase the women who run.
Ain't never caught a one.
Always the hunter and never the prey
Quietly observing, I don't make a sound
And if by chance she turns around
She'll most likely flee at the sight of me.
I only chase the women who run.
And haven't ever caught a single one.
Just in case she looks me in the eye
I let the contact remain a bit,
Then if she still doesn't fly,
I pretend to eat berries and have a seat.
You see, I only chase the women who run.
Guess how many I've caught? None.
Rarely will she ask, "Are you chasing?"
But if she does, the problem I'm facing
Is this: I say yes, she runs away
And off I go in search of prey.
Or I say yes, she comes to me.
Hasn't happened yet this century.
But I cannot lie, I never deny
My intent - lies cannot be undone.
Unfortunately, I've only chased women who run.
And when they run, the chase is done.
If I see she will not be chased,
Off I run away in haste.
If she wants not to be caught, I will not catch
So all through the chase, I try to match
Her speed, until the decision is done.
It seems I've only chased women who run.
And let me tell you, that's no fun.
Ain't never caught a one.
Smelly Hat
9-29-96
Simons gave me his hat to smell
And asked me to write a poem about it.
I took one whiff and I could tell
My suspicions were confirmed, if I ever doubted.
This hat had the foulest stench in the world,
Far worse than even elephant bung.
After that sniff I almost hurled
And I think it destroyed half a lung.
So anyway, about this poem,
I told him I'd write it and so I did.
I just can't wait till I get home
And breathe some air that's not putrid.
Dear Angie the Pizza Hut Lady
10-11-96
You brought us food which tasted good
And served it with a smile.
You joked around; we quickly found
You went the extra mile
To make us feel that we were real
People just like you.
Whether you had a good or bad
Night, I haven't a clue
But I hope you know (we all thought so) -
On us I'm glad you waited.
Believe it or not, at Pizza Hut
Your smile is appreciated.
This Weary Spirit
10-14-96
When this weary spirit homeward flies
May not a mournful wail arise
For life, with all her mysteries
Has chosen moments pure as these
To show the soul without disguise.
I'll want for drying tearful eyes
Of friends who tho' my Death despise
Have hearts with love filled otherwise
And fall upon their knees.
Free to wander about the skies
Whose fickle wanderlustig breeze
Could carry one to paradise,
Yet always bound to empathize
With every heart which grieves,
I pray they come to realize -
Alike my friends and enemies -
That true love never truly dies,
And I have lived to please.
From Cobie
10-14-96
I feel so warm and snuggly inside
With arms around my worn gray fur.
Peaceful thoughts of love abide -
I am both comforted and comforter.
To hold and be held is my true wealth,
To share her sorrow and her joy.
From years and tears, in sickness and health
I've become to her more than just a toy.
Secrets forgotten long ago
Are treasured up in my heart of hearts -
For her to share her life with me so,
A sentiment of importance imparts.
I have fallen from the bed.
I have slept soundly all night long.
I have eaten twenty-three-cent bread.
I know that here is where I belong.
To sniff my fur, one soon would find
Her scent adorns my every stitch.
I smell so good, and I don't mind -
It always reminds me that I am rich.
My confidante, my mistress, and my friend -
I've never known anyone like her.
I hope our friendship never ends -
And I hope she knows:
I love you, Piper!
Heaven
10-20-96
Like a fetus curled,
Tight and secure,
Enveloped in warmth.
Fingers to mouth,
Held close
In loving arms.
Halfway asleep,
Heartbeat so calm.
Mind at rest,
With a faraway tune.
"Oh, how cute!"
A splash of love.
Here I am.
Thank you
So very much.
Peace.
Hey Mister Poet
12-14-96
So what if it rhymes?
So what if it's long?
Someone spent hours and days beautifying what you
might never have thought of in the first place
perhaps on pain of death from the king
or maybe just because the author was a perfectionist
Who are you to determine what is perfect, anyway?
We all have a self-serving bias to which we are blind
and yet you maintain that free verse and
all these words and symbols flying all over the page
(or the canvas!)
is the way to go.
You say you're the best but maybe it's because
you can't keep up with those who can no longer defend themselves
Would Shakespeare approve? and I know you don't care
Let's be cryptic, shall we
you know, analyzing doesn't necessarily mean finding
"the hidden meaning"
or extrapolating non-existent substance
why don't you just say what you mean and get over yourself
I think it's funny how people try to imitate what they don't understand
so keep it up, entertain me, because everyone's a hypocrite
including myself.
Ha!
I Always Come
12-14-96
I always come
knowing full well the time will also come
to pack up my things and hit the road again.
Where the destination?
The next rest area will suffice for a time
and even my home has a "welcome" sign
for visitors like me
but I allow myself a bit of freedom
to settle
to get comfortable
to have a home
Knowing that pulling up a tree's roots will kill it
and keeping an eye on the bulldozer in the distance
I know it will come.
It follows me.
The rumble of the ground is so quiet
or maybe I just ignore it
but it's always a surprise to be dug up
Even though I'm used to it.
I usually drop some acorns in my stay
and maybe I'll see them again someday -
driving the Caterpillar, perhaps.
It doesn't deter me from love
To know a broken heart
it's natural enough
and so, despite myself,
I always come.
Speedometer
12-17-96
I study the digits as I've never really noticed them before
these numbers I've glanced at for years
and never really looked at.
Wow. This thing has kilometers on it too.
Stupid Americans. Wake up to the world.
Everyone uses the metric system.
That's odd. I wonder why it says "km/h" and not "KPH".
More discrimination, I suppose.
What about all those others who have looked at their speedometers
as I am looking at mine now. I wonder.
I glance over at the garage door opener on the dash.
Thank God for country, I say.
Even the fast country songs don't blast your eardrums out
like whatever those kids listen to now.
And country singers watch their speedometers, too.
They know them well.
Funny, that the gauge can stay on zero while I fly
faster and farther than I've ever gone.
Well, I'm almost out of gas. Heh. Uh oh.
Running, running, running ...
that's what this baby was meant to do.
Me and my Cavalier, we're a team.
Hey! I wonder if this horn works.
Never used the thing. Toot! Cool.
How long ... ah, damn commercial.
Give me some peace, would you please?
Everyone wants something from you
but can you stop soliciting and let me live in peace?
Or not.
My Hometown
12-23-96
It's just one of those nights when I can see clearly
The people and places I held most dearly
Are changing, rearranging and moving on like I.
They won't ticket me for sitting parked in the handicapped space
At night in such a small-town place,
So getting away from my brother's friend with the same last name
As a guy I heard of back when I was a senior here,
I sit and remember all the emotions I spent once upon a time.
The city she loved me or so I thought, and wished
But I don't think it ever really happened or ever will,
Not for a farm-city-boy like myself
And that's okay.
Because I'm the only one here right now,
No matter where all those idols of mine ran off to.
I don't feel home, but I feel good about where I am.
I can hear the wind crawling over the brand-new pavement
And the expressway over yonder.
It's the sound of people moving.
The Night Before Christmas
12-25-96
'Tis the night before Christmas and I just can't sleep
Though I've counted more sheep than Miss Little Bo Peep.
I've been sitting here now for hours on end
And reality's blurring with make-believe-pretend.
If Santa should come down the chimney right now
I would scarcely be challenged to raise an eyebrow
Although in fireplaces this house is lacking.
So he'd come through the roof, with much pounding and cracking.
I don't believe what they tell me, of course.
I know that the REAL Santa Claus rides a horse.
With a pumpkin under arm and a cloak round his back
He rides through and warns of a British attack.
Yes, he's one to revere, but his head carries a bounty,
So he lives under the bridges of Madison County.
I'm ashamed that I listened for so many years
To the lies about Santa which everyone hears.
So here I am seated, attentively listening
For the sound of fresh hoofprints on the grass blades a-glistening.
These blinky-blink lights on the Christmas tree
Are blinding me so I can hardly see
And those crazy sugar plums dancing in my head
Are making me dizzy. I should go to bed.
I don't know about stirring, but the clock is tick-tocking.
Was that a mouse that ran into my stocking?
He really slammed into it, poor little thing,
But two other blind mice wrapped his head in a sling.
He must have been watching those darn Christmas lights
Which shine out for miles on the clearest of nights.
As the scent of roast turkey wafts through the house
I pause just a moment to look at the mouse,
And though but a figment of my imagination,
He offers good advice, for a hallucination.
He looks up at me, and with barely a peep,
Says, "Merry Christmas to you. Now go get some sleep."
Last update: November 30, 1997.
http://www.cs.utah.edu/~thelenm/personal/poetry/1996.html