The Wasp's Stinger
6-12-95
Picturing his face
And shaking his hand
Seeing his manhood and how
It stripped him of dignity
As a wasp's stinger
Was that touch to me
Although not my experience
It is definitely a memory
Rooted, envisioned, relived
Hard as it is to forgive
It should be easier for me
Just give it time and God's love
I want to talk but can say nothing
Only hurt, and give it away
City, 4 a.m.
6-21-95
The street-time forbodes
Thy presence, not mine.
The dangers are lurking
Where light does not shine.
Threatening harm
That will come not to thee
When they are outnumbered
By visible me.
Alone, there's no safety
In street-times like this
The buzzing of a streetlamp
Or a violent kiss.
I know in the daytime
The danger is there,
Has caught you, but street-time,
Fair lady beware.
Alas, I am helpless
And so far away;
May God make it shine
With the brightness of day
And change hearts of men,
Much to evil's dismay.
For No Reason At All
7-7-95
I'm sitting out here
With my loneliness, not fear
And you come out to the car--
didn't have to walk far--
Come in, you say,
don't treat Carol that way,
But you don't stay to talk;
Back inside the house you walk
You try to get me to come
But I'm feeling too numb
I can't take the first step
When I've fallen before--
Hey, this boat is sinking
I can't swim to shore
Throw me a line
O father of mine
How can we talk
When we both have our walls
I doubt it will work
Until one of them falls
And right now,
It's not mine.
Why?
This Poem Sucks
8-11-95
My mind is a blank
I want to write something
But my mind is blank
This poem sucks
It has no meaning
I oughta just give up
Christmas Eve
8-11-95
Christmas Eve is supposed to be
A pleasant night, with pleasant dreaming
Anticipation of the child of Mary,
Not a vicious fight or terrified screaming.
And yet, somehow inside my mind
I've seen the struggle, I've felt the pain
Of Christmas Eve; a buckle gleaming,
Yet closed, but seeming to strike my brain
And there, a horrible emptiness I find.
The screaming now becomes my own
Of rage and countless thoughts all streaming
From that groin unto the throne
Of nothingness, and that alone--
I thrash, I kick, but all in vain.
For he is gone, despite visions teeming.
And someday, when I see that face
Of one who claims he knows God's grace,
I'll dare not harm a single bone.
I weep for him who displays his seeming
Innocence of Christmas Eve.
He is the one who is deceived.
In God's pure heaven there'll be no screaming.
Release
9-30-95
Owing my very existence
I trust you
For every breath
How could I not trust you
With every step
The wind rustles through the trees
Everything moving, everything living
In this passing breeze...
Thanks to God they are giving
Jesus walked on the water
I'm afraid of the steady rocks
And the pressure's getting hotter
Inside these weary locks
MY idea
MY girlfriend
MY glory
MY life
MY happiness
MY pride
It's killing me to stay where I am,
Do what I do
But I'm scared to move
And timid as a lamb
I must trust in you
Alphabet
(Date: I forget.)
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
The Journey
12-7-95
There in darkness he is born
High above the earth in chilly moisture
His destiny formed of air and water
The tiny cloudlet swirls and approaches
Fluffily falling amongst his companions
He is far away now, and I do not notice him
Descending from the great cloud that is his father
Step by step, I crush his brothers
Those who lie in silence now
I am blinded when I try to dash ahead
But now I stop.
My ears cannot stand the silent stillness of Nature
As I stand in awe of the glorious beauty
Of the season of our Lord's birth.
The tiny flake picks me out
And gently chooses its course
Weaving, floating, crystalline and perfect
He alights on the tip of my nose
And looks lovingly into my eyes
"There," he says, "I have fulfilled my purpose."
Dying there, I hardly notice,
Though the greatest journey
I could ever imagine
Is complete.
Christmas Deliverance
12-20-95
The plain young virgin sat silently in the corner
Pausing for a moment from her midday toil
To lovingly admire the ring which would adorn her
Finger forever as a reminder of her vow.
She dreamed of peaceful love, which nothing could spoil...
But suddenly she turned and said, "Stranger, who are thou?"
The man at the door seemed familiar, and yet
She did not quite trust his calm answer: "Fear not."
As God spoke to her heart, she began to forget
Her wishes, her dreams of being quietly wed,
In favor of bearing a blessed young tot.
"May it be unto me as thou hast said."
Some time later, in a stable cold and lonely,
The time came for the baby to be delivered.
The fruit of her humble obedience only
By her fiance's hands into the world was brought forth
And all Satan's demons knowingly shivered
For their demise was sealed on December twenty-fourth.
That child, conceived of the Spirit and dust,
Though delivered that day, has delivered us all.
His name is called Jesus; in Him we can trust.
To know Him is to find intimacy with the Lord
And reassurance that He will answer our call.
The meaning of Christmas is best said in a Word:
JESUS.
Last update: November 30, 1997.
http://www.cs.utah.edu/~thelenm/personal/poetry/1995.html