Mathematical laws regarding children.

1. Zeno’s paradox: A child will only eat half of what you give them, especially if you’ve offered it to them before.
2. Hairy ball theorem: the closer it is to when you have to leave for school, the harder it gets to comb a child’s hair to make it stay down.
3. My son’s food consumption is nonabelian. If stomach capacity is $C$, then milkshake + dinner $\gg C$, but dinner + milkshake $<$ C.
4. A child wandering in a planar mall will eventually return to its parent. Eventually….