Fictional Computer Illiteracy Stories 


TECH SUPPORT PRICE LIST
(these fees are *not* negotiable)

Calling me with a question: $10
Calling me with a stupid question: $25
Calling me with a stupid question you can't quite articulate: $100
Saying I'm incompetent because I can't interpret your inarticulate
 description: $500
Asking how to force a program to do something it obviously isn't intended
 to do: $750
Complaining about my surly attitude: $1,000

Calling me when the answer is in TFM: $100
Starting a call with "I'm helping this other person…": $250
Insisting that the logically impossible problem you're describing is, in
 fact, happening: $500

Self-diagnosing your problem and telling me what to do: $500
"Fixing" the problem yourself, then calling me to bail you out: $750
Failing to inform your cow-orkers that I bailed you out: $1,000

Telling me your hard drive is dead, when you mean floppy drive: $50
Calling the monitor by any other name (i.e. CPU, TV, etc.): $100
Complaining that the system is not accepting your new password, when the
 password manager tells you exactly what the problem is (i.e., password
 too short): $500
Referring to the Windows Desktop as the "home page" or "screen saver": $1,000

Questioning the above rates: $5,000

 ___  __  __  ___    __    _  _  _  _  ____
/ __)(  )(  )(_  )  /__\  ( \( )( \( )( ___) Suzanne Cook
\__ \ )(__)(  / /  /(__)\  )  (  )  (  )__)  
(___/(______)(___)(__)(__)(_)\_)(_)\_)(____) http://www.cs.utah.edu/~scook/