The Blonde's Guide to Medical Terms and Their Meanings

Artery	The study of paintings
Bacteria	Back door to the cafeteria
Barium	What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel	A letter like A, E, I, O, or U.
Caesarean Section	A district in Rome
Cat Scan	Searching for a kitty
Cauterize	Made eye contact with her
Colic	A sheep dog
Congenital	Friendly
D & C	Where Washington is
Dilate	To live long
Enema	Not a friend
Fester	Quicker
Genital	Non-Jewish
Grippe	A suitcase
Hangnail	Coat hook
Impotent	Distinguished, Well known
Labor Pain	Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff	A doctor's cane
Morbid	Higher offer
Nitrate	Cheaper than a day rate
Out Patient	Person who has fainted
Pap Smear	Fatherhood Test
Pelvis	Cousin of Elvis
Postoperative	A letter carrier
Prostate	Flat on your back
Recovery Room	Place to do upholstery
Rectum	Dang near killed him
Secretion	Hiding something
Seizure	Roman Emperor
Tablet	A small table
Terminal Illness	Getting sick at the airport
Tibia	Country in North Africa
Tumor	More than "one more"
Urine	Opposite of "you're out"
Varicose	Near by
Vein	Conceited